So I am this over protective Mama...not really over protective but a worrier. I raised my children to be strong outgoing individuals with book smarts and street smarts needed to navigate the world but...somehow I still worry. Everytime they go out or decisions they make I worry. It drives them crazy. I am better than I used to be though.
My children now are 25, 23 and 21 and together the four of us have been through some things. If nothing else we are survivors.
It's amazing the things you see as weakness in your own character someone else sees as a strength and learns from that. Let me explain if I can.
I was a very studious child and extremly shy (painfully shy)so I enjoyed going to school, as this was my social interaction outside of my comfort zone. I was always one to set goals and deadlines. Where life goals and schoolwork were concerned i was a Make a plan and then work the plan kind of person. When I was older, married and began to have children, I dreamed of a life and where I would be when in that life. Well, that didn't happen and unfortunately I wasn't equipped for plan B. You see there was no plan B. My parents were happily married as were most people I knew. So I had no idea about being a single divorced person much less a single parent. I do mean single like with absolutely no help from the ex husband. He walked out on me and my three children out of the blue no warning and no reason given. To this day 21 years later I have no idea why. I don't need to know now but, that's a story for another time maybe. My children and I have spent two decades just surviving one day and then another and then another. It wasn't all bad but financially I was never able to do more for them except the bare minimum.
Getting back to my original thought though... I found myself sitting in front of a counselor with my youngest son Matt who is an intelligent, funny, clever and extremly laid back individual. He was 16 at the time. I was so shocked at his approach to what was a very serious problem. In a casual manner he would reply "I will worry about that when I have to." I asked him how he could be like that. I was afraid and worried for him. He responded with "I learned that from you Mom." I was stunned. He said that with all we had been through I would always say "let's deal with what we have to today and we will worry about the rest later, all we can do is what we can do." "take one day at a time, one foot step at a time." He told me I was the strongest person he knew. WOW!!! Talk about a light bulb moment. What I viewed as a weakness in myself he viewed as a strength. He taught me something in that moment.
So yes, the children really are watching and they are learning from us. I had raised a well adjusted individual with a unique perspective on the world and I knew he would be okay. I am the Mama though and it is my job to worry so I don't know if that will ever change. According to my Mama it doesn't and I am okay with that!!
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